I sure hope Lyme is the answer to multiple numbers of your ailments! But, either way, I'm glad you are able to enjoy the "H" word a bit. :-) Hope is something everyone deserves to have.
Are you still feeling better this week? Give us an update!
B
September 18, 2009
September 12, 2009
THANKS FOR THE PRAYERS!!
HELLO, ALL!
I just wanted to leave a quick note to say that I REALLY appreciated all of the messages of love and prayer support that were passed my way! They brought me much-needed comfort in the midst of all the anxiety!
As for a health update, with cautious optimism I report that for the last week or so I HAVE felt noticeably better than I was feeling PRIOR to my hospitalization. Now, bear in mind that if any of YOU were feeling the way I feel today, you wouldn't likely have anything positive to say about it. But for me, it's am improvement---and improvement is priceless! The theory of chronic Lyme Disease has proven to be a valid one (I took the time to write up a symptom-timeline from 7th grade on up and it's literally scary how everything started falling apart in the year following that Jamaican tick bite---including many classic Lyme-related symptoms which I had assumed were no longer significant since they all but disappeared after 2-3 years!)! I've always maintained that there HAS to be a connection b/w everything I've experienced over the last 15-16 years---it seems like too much of a coincidence to have so many things randomly fall apart around my 17th birthday! So having a potential explanation for EVERYTHING at once is like a dream come true! But to have that explanation also involve a largely CURABLE disease........well, that's just indescribable!!! As I'm sure you can imagine, I have to work very hard to maintain a logical mindset and not expect a life-changing outcome prematurely! My prayers these days are largely "reminder memos" to God, voicing how excited I get at the prospect of a "new" body and how I long for this journey to be over---but always ending with the vow to accept whatever He chooses to do next. But what if He chooses health....!! The other day I told Danny that when I think about being "cured", and subsequently experiencing LIFE, I get the exact same rush of adrenaline that I got on many Christmas Eve nights as a child. Specifically, for about 3-4 years in a row I asked Santa for a kitten (surprise, surprise!). And even though logic warned that disappointment was eminent, I couldn't help but feel a rush each time I considered the possibility. I'd lay there and pray, over and over, for God (not Santa) to deliver a kitten WRAPPED IN MY LONG-LOST BLANKIE. I could see myself waking up to discover a precious bundle at the foot of my bed, much to the surprise of my whole family (and Santa)! I knew that God probably wouldn't grant my wish, but I also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that HE WAS CAPABLE of such a miracle, and more. And because such a wonder was not 100% outside of the realm of possibility, I couldn't HELP but believe with a touch of expectation. Even though I was disappointed Christmas after Christmas, that childlike expectation remained undaunted (until one summer God snuck a scraggly kitten into my backyard, instead, so the Christmas miracle was no longer needed!)! I'm actually proud to say that I'm still capable of such childlike belief in the "illogical", after so many devastating disappointments. The experience of BELIEVING is so renewing in and of itself, that I've learned to embrace it even though all signs point to an unhappy outcome. Life has taught me that expecting the worst doesn't make it hurt any less when it hits, no matter what we may tell ourselves. So why not enjoy the opportunity to be awash in optimism.....in that blessed thing called HOPE?! I'm saying all of that to say this.........I do believe that God is deliberately orchestrating every aspect of this latest health situation, and I believe He's doing it for the purpose of bringing about the kind of healing I NEVER could have seen coming! HOWEVER, I also believe that He has full ownership of my present and future life, and as such it's His prerogative to make these days culminate in yet another UNhappy outcome.
Well, I didn't intend to turn this update into a sermon, so I'm going to leave you before I get off on another tangent! Love to all! SANDY
I just wanted to leave a quick note to say that I REALLY appreciated all of the messages of love and prayer support that were passed my way! They brought me much-needed comfort in the midst of all the anxiety!
As for a health update, with cautious optimism I report that for the last week or so I HAVE felt noticeably better than I was feeling PRIOR to my hospitalization. Now, bear in mind that if any of YOU were feeling the way I feel today, you wouldn't likely have anything positive to say about it. But for me, it's am improvement---and improvement is priceless! The theory of chronic Lyme Disease has proven to be a valid one (I took the time to write up a symptom-timeline from 7th grade on up and it's literally scary how everything started falling apart in the year following that Jamaican tick bite---including many classic Lyme-related symptoms which I had assumed were no longer significant since they all but disappeared after 2-3 years!)! I've always maintained that there HAS to be a connection b/w everything I've experienced over the last 15-16 years---it seems like too much of a coincidence to have so many things randomly fall apart around my 17th birthday! So having a potential explanation for EVERYTHING at once is like a dream come true! But to have that explanation also involve a largely CURABLE disease........well, that's just indescribable!!! As I'm sure you can imagine, I have to work very hard to maintain a logical mindset and not expect a life-changing outcome prematurely! My prayers these days are largely "reminder memos" to God, voicing how excited I get at the prospect of a "new" body and how I long for this journey to be over---but always ending with the vow to accept whatever He chooses to do next. But what if He chooses health....!! The other day I told Danny that when I think about being "cured", and subsequently experiencing LIFE, I get the exact same rush of adrenaline that I got on many Christmas Eve nights as a child. Specifically, for about 3-4 years in a row I asked Santa for a kitten (surprise, surprise!). And even though logic warned that disappointment was eminent, I couldn't help but feel a rush each time I considered the possibility. I'd lay there and pray, over and over, for God (not Santa) to deliver a kitten WRAPPED IN MY LONG-LOST BLANKIE. I could see myself waking up to discover a precious bundle at the foot of my bed, much to the surprise of my whole family (and Santa)! I knew that God probably wouldn't grant my wish, but I also knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that HE WAS CAPABLE of such a miracle, and more. And because such a wonder was not 100% outside of the realm of possibility, I couldn't HELP but believe with a touch of expectation. Even though I was disappointed Christmas after Christmas, that childlike expectation remained undaunted (until one summer God snuck a scraggly kitten into my backyard, instead, so the Christmas miracle was no longer needed!)! I'm actually proud to say that I'm still capable of such childlike belief in the "illogical", after so many devastating disappointments. The experience of BELIEVING is so renewing in and of itself, that I've learned to embrace it even though all signs point to an unhappy outcome. Life has taught me that expecting the worst doesn't make it hurt any less when it hits, no matter what we may tell ourselves. So why not enjoy the opportunity to be awash in optimism.....in that blessed thing called HOPE?! I'm saying all of that to say this.........I do believe that God is deliberately orchestrating every aspect of this latest health situation, and I believe He's doing it for the purpose of bringing about the kind of healing I NEVER could have seen coming! HOWEVER, I also believe that He has full ownership of my present and future life, and as such it's His prerogative to make these days culminate in yet another UNhappy outcome.
Well, I didn't intend to turn this update into a sermon, so I'm going to leave you before I get off on another tangent! Love to all! SANDY
September 2, 2009
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