WENDY---(continuing the spiritual dialogue....)
I spend so much energy crying out to Him, struggling to "get to Him", and searching the distance for Him, when all the while He's standing a mere inches from my blinded eyes! All I have to do is sit down and start talking to Him to receive His healing presence, but I always start by attempting to clear imaginary hurtles instead! Why do we forever expect His home to be a mountaintop? Does it all go back to the negative way we view our own selves? Maybe I can't "let" Him be so easily approachable and readily available because I'm too caught up in believing that my shortcomings and failures will deny me the opportunity to share in communion with (and true service to) Him! Unwilling to forgive and forget my own sins or limitations, I keep my head hung low and my eyes shut tight with shame. Is it any wonder that I have no concept of the fact that the Savior is literally standing right before me, on firm and level ground, eager to FREELY and INSTANTLY administer the very healing that I'm so busy attempting to earn from Him?! Christ literally gave His life for the chance to offer us the gift of healing and forgiveness, and yet somehow I have more difficulty in receiving (believing, and living out) His forgiveness than He has in granting it!
I want to THANK YOU, Wendy, for inspiring continued meditation on these subjects. I haven't been doing that for myself in much too long, and sitting here tonight I again feel how much my spirit aches for it! Because I rarely leave the house these days, and haven't made it to church in what feels like a lifetime, it's such a huge blessing to be able to get those spiritual juices flowing again (right here at this little computer desk)!!! Thanks again, and please keep it up!!! (Especially here on the blog, where its safe for me to spend as long as I'd like to reading and writing with very little threat of migraine attack!!!) S