It's hard to describe the wonderful feeling that comes from peeking at the blog page and seeing so many sweet responses (and updates)!!! I suppose I have my Mom to thank for that?! And even better, my reading was accompanied by a lovely soundtrack ("Together At Last, Together Forever") because Will's watching the tale end of "Annie" even as I type----for his SECOND time today (add that to the 3---or was it 4---times he watched it yesterday eve/night, and I think I've finally tired of that darn little red-headed orphan!)!! I put it on in yesterday evening in the hopes that it would distract him enough to stay awake just a little while longer. But I'll be darned if this little boy doesn't think Carol Burnett (AKA "Miss Hanigan") is downright hilarious!!! And he clearly shares his Aunt Emily's childhood affinity for the ridiculously overdone dance and song numbers (along with his own, masculine, appreciation for the silly fight scenes)!!!!
ANYWAY....... The MAYO appt has now officially been canceled due to insurance snafus (they canceled their contract with AETNA a few months ago). I was on hold with my insurance company this afternoon (the first of many calls today) and found myself frantically begging God to make this doctor be in network for me. Just as my mild anxiety was beginning to morph into full-on panic, I was surprised to find my thoughts interrupted by the voice of reason. I realized that in light of the number of times I have submitted (and re-submitted) my life---my fate---to God's control, there need be no panicky pleading involved in my hour of prayer!!! If I truly want Him to do what is right in His OWN eyes when it comes to my life circumstances (both present and future), I have to give Him room to do what seems all wrong in MY eyes! Reaffirming my desire to have His Hand move (in whatever direction it sees fit) resulted in an immediate sense of relief. All of that building apprehension was instantly lifted........just in time to hear the disappointing news from Mayo's Billing Dept.! What could have easily been an incredibly heavy load to bear---and inspiration for hopelessness---was instead received as a temporary set-back on a CONTINUING pursuit for answers and (maybe, just maybe) relief. When I look past all factors except for the only one that actually matters (in the big picture), I have to consider today's disappointment a personal triumph. I remembered Who's in charge, and what's important, just in time. Instead of falling apart when life didn't go my way (and then having to beg God to come put my emotional pieces back together), I managed to reset my internal compass so that "My Way" was aligned with "YOUR WAY" and weathered the storm just fine! As spiritual triumph experiences go, this one may be a rather uninspiring example. But my joy is in knowing that the more often I get this "You before me" process right, the more likely it is to become second nature for me! Wouldn't THAT be a triumph?!! As for next steps, at my insurance co's suggestion I'm undertaking the daunting task of researching every in-network neurologist in their records. (From what I've been able to ascertain, Neurologists seem to be the ones diagnosing the Orthostatic Intolerance Syndromes, while they often then recommend follow-up care to be handled by Cardiologists. If you, instead, start with a Cardiologist they are more likely to get "side-tracked" by ONE of the myriad of symptoms/dysfunctions rather than stepping back to see if ALL of the issues might be part of one BIG problem.) I'll basically look each Neurologist up online, and then call them if need be, until I find some that sub-specialize in the dysautonomic disorders. (By the way, dysautonomia is sort of a blanket term for disorders that are now being distinguished from each other---sort of like "Autism" now refers to several disorders on a spectrum. So the Orthostatic Hypertension/Intolerance labels still fall under the umbrella of dysautonomia. It's actually all quite fascinating when you start googling!!) If I completely strike out with in-network doctors, I will revisit the Mayo Clinic idea. I found out that if I make an appointment at least 3 wks out, I can then request a line-by-line estimate of service and charges; that estimate can then be taken to my insurance company who'll be able to tell me exactly what I'm looking at spending for each service. Then I can make a truly informed decision---and possibly see about picking and choosing tests where possible---so there won't be a $20,000 surprise waiting for me on the other side!!
LAURIE----before I forget, I feel VERY strongly that Will needs to be in the sanctuary with us for the wedding. I mean, he might cause a few disruptions......but if he gets restless I know he'll LOVE walking up and down the aisles, or tapping out a delightful tune on the piano for you. It's all in the name of therapy----the more exposure he has to new social situations the better, right? Of course, I'd also like to be able to ENJOY the wedding myself, so I was thinking you could maybe spare one of those babysitters to sort of shadow him during the ceremony? Two birds with one stone, right?
Okay, well it's high time I figure out why Will isn't showing the slightest sign of sleepiness yet. (I know it wasn't the ill-fated late nap!) But before I go I feel the need to pose a theological/ scientific question to my learned audience. (Becky, I'm counting on you to have a theory, here!) Okay, as you can imagine I've been watching a good bit of TV lately, and APL has had all sorts of the dinosaur-themed shows lately. Tonight I watched a few minutes of yet another one, and found myself puzzled. I've never considered dinosaurs to contradict our interpretation of the creation myth---(just testing......did I scare you?)---I mean, the creation story. When scientist announced that dinosaurs and man never actually coexisted, it didn't phase me either. After all, animals WERE created prior to man, and when the account says "day" it doesn't specify that it's a day according to our human understanding of time! (Of course, I think some scientists are now changing their minds on the whole human/dinosaur coexistence thing. But setting that fact aside.......) If dinosaurs existed, and then ceased to exist, entirely PRIOR to man why were there CARNIVOROUS dinosaurs? I've studied the Biblical text in all translations available to me, and they all seem to agree that prior to the fall ALL life was in a utopian "vegan" state. The plants of the earth and the sea were plentiful enough to satisfy and sustain all life. Blood wasn't spilled until after the fall. So what's with the big reptiles with the rows of jagged, flesh-tearing, teeth? That question led to another one, and this one should be easier for someone to answer! The shows all depict an earth that's literally teeming with dinosaurs, but how much evidence does science actually have to support that? (One thing I DO know is that even though they've only FOUND evidence of 350-500 individual dino-species, scientists don't hesitate to teach us that anywhere from 1,000 - 1,000,000 other species ALSO existed! Based on what? Psychic readings?!) So how many complete, or even mostly-complete, fossils have ACTUALLY been found (worldwide, in total) so far? Are they projecting modern species population data onto dinosaurs, even though only several specimens of each species have ever been found? Because if they don't have millions of fossils to back up their own theories, I don't think the whole carnivore question is such a mystery after all. If the dino-extinction actually had more to do with the flood (and whatever natural devices the Lord may have used to set in motion the chain of events necessary to trigger such a catastrophe), dinosaurs would have had many hundreds of years to be establishing themselves (along WITH mankind) post-fall but pre-flood. Carnivorous reptiles could have emerged AND had time to both breed and get REALLY big! I know science has evidence to support meteor involvement in the dino-demise, and they'd like us to see that as also being proof against the flood's culpability (you know, the flood that didn't happen). But then they sit there and list off all of the likely after-effects of a catastrophic asteroid encounter, and one of the possible "global-killer" scenarios is....... wait for it.......massive tidal waves and coast-to-coast storms resulting in entire continents being......that's right, flooded. HELLO! So maybe the Bible gives us the Cliff-Notes version by simply saying "it rained" (which it surely did) rather than blowing ancient minds with a detailed accounting of all the steps leading up to that rain.......but that doesn't mean the flood of the Bible is different from the floods of extinction science is proposing! Right? Okay, enough of that talk! I'm afraid I couldn't resist sharing my mental ramblings with you all because I just get too excited whenever I actually have the energy to do so!!! It's like a micro-christmas! Well, here's hoping I'll have the energy to sit at the computer again soon! SANDY
