Quote for Christmas

Hope everyone had a good holiday. Below is a quote that I saw this morning and it spoke to me. Best wishes for everyone in 2009. Lisa

CHRISTMAS
What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.

AGNES M. PHARO Poet

Danielle---------I received your very sweet voicemail (my phone didn't bother to ring, or I would have actually answered the phone)! And yes, we'll be in FLA during the baptism. Just start praying now that my body has readjusted to morning wake-ups by that time!!!
Becky------I saw you in person before I saw your shout out, but I thought it still deserved to be acknowledged!
TO ALL-------Because Laurie expressed concern over Internet Explorer's safety these days I made the switch to Mozilla Foxfire (as she recommended)----I didn't even know what that cute little desktop icon represented until she inspired me to click on it!!! ANYWAY, the point is that I've been discovering a whole new world of fun little tools, shortcuts, tricks, etc that are available with Foxfire. And among them is FoxyTunes, which is a music "system" that actually allows you to share the song you're listening to on this very post. Or, to put it more clearly: Right now I'm playing some favorite tunes via Windows Media Player on my computer; when a "share-worthy" song began playing I clicked the little music icon on the toolbar above this post and a link instantly appeared so that you guys can now click on it and have a listen as well! Of course, I haven't tried this before so I'm just assuming it will work properly once it's posted!

The song is by a folksy Christian singer/songwriter I was introduced to back in college, but I never had more than one tape of his (remember those?!). The other day I ran across this one for the first time, and felt like the timing was meant to be. The song bears a message I once knew well, but seemed to have forgotten as of late. If you're like me, finding a song that touches the soul is like reading a book that totally sucks you in----you can't help but share it with everyone around you!! I hope you enjoy it! SANDY ----------------
Now playing: Pierce Pettis - God Believes in You (Pierce Pettis)
via FoxyTunes
PS---AFTER POSTING THIS I TESTED THE SONG LINK, AND I'M NOT SURE HOW IT WILL WORK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO AREN'T REGISTERED WITH FOXYTUNES. FOR ME I WAS TAKEN TO THEIR WEBSITE WHERE A PAGE WAS FILLED WITH EVERYTHING YOU COULD EVER KNOW ABOUT PIERCE PETTIS, INCLUDING THE LYRICS TO THIS PARTICULAR SONG, AND AFTER A BIT OF SEARCHING I REALIZED THAT A TOOLBAR HAD APPEARED AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE, AND ON IT WAS THE OPTION TO PLAY THE MUSIC (AND OTHER MUSIC). PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GUYS CLICK ON IT!!!

Coen's Baptism

Hello, all.  I just wanted to let everyone know that we've been able to make arrangements to have Coen baptized Sunday, Dec. 28 while we're in Florida.  I wanted to invite anyone who's interested to join us for this happy occasion.  It will be at 9:00 am at St. Justin Orthodox Church.

Sandy

How are you feeling? Hope you were able to rest today.
B

The Song In MY Head!

Emily, in response to the song verses you shared, I thought I'd post this one which ALWAYS gets stuck in my head during those hours when I have no tears left. The chorus is actually all that gets stuck, because it's all I can ever remember. But it's always so fitting! Sandy

"HOLD ME, JESUS"------Rich Mullins

Well, sometimes my life

Just don't make sense at all

When the mountains look so big

And my faith just seems so small

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark

It's so hot inside my soul

I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus

'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You've been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don't come natural to me

I'd rather fight You for something I don't really want

Than to take what You give that I need

And I've beaten my head against so many walls

Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees
And this Salvation Army band

Is playing this hymn

And Your grace rings out so deep

It makes my resistance seem so thin
So hold me Jesus

'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You've been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace
You've been King of my glory

Won't You be my Prince of Peace

I apologize for not having gotten this up earlier. (I'll blame it on taking care of Will, but it's really just my A.D.D. ) I don't really have details other than the procedure went well with no complications. Sandy's now home resting, and Danny is being a fine nursemaid - or at least the finest she has available at the present time!

Also, for anyone wanting updates on the funeral, Mom told me they were trying to make arrangements to have it at Westview, where she will be buried. I guess we'll get more details tomorrow. Love to one and all, Cindy

On a Sillier Note...

Kaitlyn just came to me (with pants fully off) whining, "My poo-poo won't come out, come out wherever you are!" She was quite distressed. I guess it's her first real bout of constipation since potty training.

On a silly note

So today Brennan told Santa that what he wants for Christmas is tap shoes. Where in the world does he get it from? Any way the pressure is on now for Santa to find a pair of tap shoes. I think this might come from him seeing some of the movie Annie. Lets just hope he wants to be Daddy Warbucks sp? and not Annie. I promise you that I have not in any way talked to him about tap or whispered in his ear at night while he was sleeping. I guess it is just in the genes. I just keep reminding myself that Richard Gere did some tap dancing in the movie Chicago and he is married to a woman.

Love to Sandy and Danny

Although silent thus far on the blog, I've been hurting and praying along with the rest of you. I can't possibly imagine the grief you're experiencing right now but I do pray that you find peace. The only comfort (or understanding) about the situation I've been able to come to is that God will only give you what you can handle. For reasons beyond our understanding this baby wasn't meant to be with us on earth. Maybe there were going to be complications that He just didn't want you to shoulder right now? I'm sure there are a million "what ifs" but the challenge is to find the blessing in this too. I don't really know what the "right" thing to say is but we're grieving alongside you and we love you.

A song or two...

I have had a worship song running through my head the last 24 hours. I don't know if anyone else knows it but the one line in particular that is sticking with me is this... "You give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say Lord blessed be your name." It does feel like that sometimes. You have to choose in the moments of great blessing to turn to the Lord and thank Him and recognize His hand in it. Then on the other side in times of great loss you have to choose to turn to God and say blessed be your name. Both challenging for different reasons. The other song is a Third day one. The line is "Please take from me my life when I don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus." I find myself in seasons of life where this song is exactly where I am in my walk. Right now it is not but I think I am feeling it for others around me that are struggling so. So wherever you are finding yourself right now may God grant you the grace to bless His name.
Because I am on a spiritual kick I will go ahead and take a moment to share how God has been working in my life lately. A little over a month ago God was really revealing to me that I was not living my life in appreciation for what Jesus had done for me. I was walking with God and was even kind of living a "good" Christian life but I had lost sight of Jesus in the middle of it. More and more I was steeped in a bitterness toward certain people in my life. I was totally desensitized to what Jesus had done for me on the cross. A crucifix brought forth no emotions, it was the equivalent of something as everyday and boring as a ceiling fan. Nice to have one when I am hot, but never caught my eye. It was just a normal part of a room. I started to pray that God would bring me back to the heart of my faith. That I would remember my first love and be able to be truly thankful again. Well, He did it in a very special way for me. Every night before Brennan goes to bed we read books and pray and then he wants to watch a music video on my iPhone. I will find a Christian music video to show him. This one night I showed him one that I had not yet seen. Before I go further I must say that Brennan is very sensitive to images and is impacted by them a little more than the average 3 yr old. To that end I am very careful about what he sees. I was playing this video and then a particularly gruesome image of Jesus on the cross came up on the screen. My initial instinct was to turn the screen so that he could not really see it. Something stopped me though. He watched the whole video and said nothing about Jesus on the cross (rather unlike him.) I put him to bed and went down to do my bible study. I started thinking more and more about that video and found myself seeing Jesus on the cross through fresh eyes. It was horrific and painful and not fare. Then I started to pray about those people that I was holding bitterness against and just found myself filled with compassion for them. Something about knowing that I am in the same category as them, sinners that Jesus has died for, did it for me. I of course have always logically known that but with these individuals I didn't really know it in my heart. I am picturing us all standing side by side in front of Jesus on the cross and suddenly nothing else but that moment matters. We have all screwed up, but before God because of Jesus we are all beautiful. So to that end if you have found yourself desensitized to what Jesus has done for you, or are dealing with an ugly sin pattern in your life, I pray that Jesus will become new and fresh for you. Also, that you will find yourself standing next to me before Jesus on the cross seeing your sin being payed for and forgiven. I must say that one of the problems that I have blogging is that I have enough time to type something out but never enough to edit it. So forgive mistakes and just fix them in your mind for me. Hopefully it is not so bad that you can't understand my point.
Sandy, I am praying for you right now as you prepare for the D&C. May it go smoothly and in a very unMacNabb manor with no complications. Love you

Sandy

I pray your D&C goes well today and that you aren't too uncomfortable.

B

Insomnia.....................

I'm not able to sleep (which could be attributed to either narcolepsy or heartache, really), so I decided to let the computer distract me until the benadryl (hopefully) takes over. I just read your post, Danielle, and looking at the "lost list" (I mentally added John Howell for the Bill MacNabb clan!) a thought struck me................I don't believe there's been a better time for our loved ones to enter Heaven! (Thinking strictly from their perspective, naturally!) Imagine what it must be like to be among an actual group of related (or related several times removed!) new-comers. To experience sights we living can hardly imagine along side so many friends and relatives who are also experiencing them for the first time..............I don't know, it seems special to me. (Not that our other loved ones would have experienced loneliness upon entering alone!) But isn't it true that when you see something great for the first time, you always wish you had a loved one right there experiencing it with you?! It also touches my heart to think about the fact that Zachary, Hannah, and all of the precious little ones whose names are still known only in Heaven are probably there acting as "seasoned guides" to the friends and family we now grieve! "Suffer the little children to come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven....." I picture our older relatives, such as Papa and our (MacNabb) grandmother, Ella, sort of calmly (but joyfully) greeting everyone.........while the babies are dancing around hardly able to contain their excitement! "Come on, hurry up! You have to see this!!!"
I just want to say that today (and yesterday) has been a perfect example of how our blog should work. I mean, no one should feel obligated to make "x" number of posts a week-----all that really matters is that we do our best to keep an eye on the blog so that when a true need arises we can instantly reach out with words of comfort! For me, today, that then translated into effortless access to comfort when I needed it most. (No matter how many times I needed it!!) The proof of love, commitment, and connectedness is in the "rallying around" not in daily "chatting it up"!!! (The latter is just plain fun!!) And for whatever faults our clan may or may not have, we sure know how to pull off a good rally, don't we?!?!?!!!! I dare say most people can't claim that.
Anyway.........the sleepiness is finally starting to creep in. And George (the cat) continuously insists that my hands, lap, and focus should be on nothing but him, which makes for slow typing! So I bid you all good night at last! Sandy

To Sandy and Danny

Hello Sandy and Danny and everyone,

First of all, sorry for being silent on the blog.  I log in every couple of days and attempt to keep up.  It normally takes me a long time for my internet to kick in, and so far I have never gotten done reading before being called away.  That's just to explain that, although still not caught up, I am keeping up and thinking of all of you.  I've been testy all day today.  I think I'm just sad inside... about Gene's father and Aunt Katherine, and right now especially for Sandy and Danny.  I have been praying for you and your little one on the way daily, and will continue to do so now that we know the little one has had a change of course and will journey on to greater heavenly adventures than we could have afforded it.  I'm looking forward to seeing you soon.

It's well past my bedtime, so I'll leave my message there for now.  Good night all, and God bless.

Love,

Danielle

To Laurie:

Laurie, I want to know what a coffee cake wrapped "loverly" looks like. First, I had to actually confirm that loverly is a word. (Not that I really doubt you, Mrs. Boggle.)

Definition: Loverly: like, characteristic of, in the manner of a lover; loverlike.

Do you have any pictures for me? ;-) And, should Gene be worried?

Thanks for the laugh, Sandy!

Those pics are great! I am so proud of Will's blooming artistic talent. And, I didn't realize he was a lefty! Cotter's a lefty and pretty artistic, too. Is there something to that? And, I wonder...would it make you a little nervous if he set all his little people all around you, making YOU the audience? That might be a little unnerving. But, otherwise, it's cute. :-)

Condolences Received

Danny and I just braved the blog together (sympathetic words always have a way of crumbling the strongest "tear-barriers", don't they?). We wanted to say thanks to all who were, and are, praying----and to all who left their words of comfort and encouragement. But for now, that's about as much as we have in us to say. Love to all...................S and D

PS---I feel like there have been too many reasons to tear up and too few reasons to chuckle lately. So I'm hoping to help break the tension a bit by adding some of my recent favorite Will pics!
This is one of the first actual drawings (versus his previous furious scribbling style of "drawing"). I wish you could see the look of concentration on his face, or the way each slight move he made was done with painstaking accuracy!!!!
This rabbit is, literally, the first identifiable work of art he has ever done. It actually appeared on the microwave several days before the first crayon picture was made. It literally took my breath away when I stumbled upon it (and the four or five Little People figures who were carefully stationed in front of it like an audience!)!
"I'm NOT ready for night-night!!" Oh, yeah?!! (You can't tell, but he's sound asleep---and his head is actually flopped all of the way down to the floor!)
Here's a perfect example of the "Little People Audience" he loves to create throughout the house. The part that caused me to pick up the camera this time is that he has posed them all to look in on the "memorial" of his sister! I asked him if his people were looking at the baby, and he replied: "Yes, the baby. You're right!" Why? Guess I'll never know!

"Honey? Do you know where Will is? I can't find him anywhere!!!" In our front room, which was pitch black at the time, Will climbed into this extra large container and promptly passed out! I had already searched the yard (and the pond...gulp...) twice before searching the room again and realizing that there was something flesh-colored in the box! (My camera's flash did a good job, because it was incredibly dark in there!)

Aunt K Passing by Wendy

I'm sorry that many or most did not get the email about Aunt Katharine from Walter. She passed away at the dinner table last night at 5 pm. It had been about 10 weeks since a stroke left her much impaired mentally, such that she no longer read or watched tv, and so comes in the fulness of time to bring her to her true home.

The funeral will be Sat. in Atlanta at Patterson and Sons (well, not sure where service will be).
Walter hasn't given details yet.
--Wendy

Signing in from Jax

Well, I used to get an email for each post, so I had assumed all was quiet on the western blog. Now I've had a 30-minute catch-up session! Lisa, thank you for your insightful writing. I loved your "let me reframe this"---I want my teenager (as well as myself!) to read that to see how it's done! And it can never be easy to know that patients are nearing the end of their lives here, but you are in that rare place where life boils down to the truths of simple blessings...a hand held, a friend present, a family gathered, a doctor who cares. Yet this season makes all of that more poignant. I pray your batteries are re-charged this Christmas.

Sandy, my heart hurts. I only know in the very slightest way how you could feel. When I was pregnant with Lloyd, they told me my size indicated there might be twins, and I went through the holiday season waiting to find out. My heart embraced it completely, yet there was nothing I could or couldn't do to make it so. By the time I found out it was a fibroid mass instead of another baby, I felt bereft, which was ridiculous since I still had a child to be thankful for. The heart and hormones know no bounds. This empty place is one of those mysterious "containers" into which God pours Himself, and we come to know Him in a new way. "The fellowship of His sufferings", yet the joy of His new provision for your life as well. I hope I didn't muddle this too much...just know I love you. --Wendy

Love to Sandy and Danny

I was so sorry to hear about the baby. We are having to comfort ourselves a lot these days with the joyous thoughts of heaven. I do pray for strength and restoration for you-- body, soul, and spirit...and of course I want that NOW.
You know, there are times when I think one's already paid one's dues, as it were, in the pain department. It SEEMS our "turn" shouldn't come up as frequently as it does. That is when I absolutely, unashamedly, not-having-all (any?)-questions answered fall back on the goodness and sovereignty of our God and Savior. I wrote some 23 years ago that my "whys" HAVE to get swallowed up in the "Who." May that quickly be a reality in this grieving process.

We love you guys.
Laurie (and the rest of us)

My condolences

Sandy, as someone who has been there before, my heart goes out to you. I pray that God comforts you and Danny through the grieving process. I also pray for speedy physical healing in addition to psychological healing.

Condolences to Sandy and Danny

I'm sad to report that their baby had no heartbeat this morning at their ultrasound. They are preparing for a D&C tomorrow. Sandy is actually in pretty good spirits, considering. She even informed me that Danny's desire, in lieu of flowers, was contributions toward a pop-up camper. (Yes, he was kidding. Sort of. :-) ) And Sandy chimed in that she couldn't really go tent camping in her current condition...so the pop-up is a must.

Since I'm not currently included on the mass email list (anyone care to add me?), I can't send an email out to everyone. Emily will take care of that later. And, if Sandy feels up to it, she'll come on later and share some thoughts.

We love you, Sandy and Danny! I know first hand (times 2) that I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I pray you will know God's peace in a miraculous way through this.

Becky

Miss a while; miss a pile (and some smiles!)

Did you think my title was catchy? A little further encouragement to not miss a while! So much has happened in my absence. Sandy, I appreciated your sweet and open sharings about Hannah. Thanks for letting us share again in her life in that way. Also, please know I'm praying for you and new baby, that everything will quickly settle back down into "normal" pregnancy.

Tonight, Thad has been waiting for me to begin wrapping presents...but I haven't. So that's that story. Gene is in Detroit with multiple inches of snow and Hayes is spending the night with My then going to breakfast with her. I had a good practice with my little traveling volleyball team. The only problem is we still don't have enough committed players. Should that not miraculously change by thursday, I'm afraid we can't really proceed. Just when we're getting good and bonded. :(

Hillary's visit to Mars Hill was very nice and they have offered her a decent scholarship. We had HOPED for more, but in reality it was a nice offer. She still hasn't decided for sure. The problem is she has to let them know before her Honors Day at Wofford in February.

I have enjoyed having my decorating done since we had our small group Christmas party here Friday night, then Thad and Hayes had about 18-20 folks--including Emily and Jessie-- over for another party Sunday night. [I arrived late from an afternoon wedding, but had helped with cooking/prep before leaving.] Both were very nice. Sandwiched inbetween was dinner at OUtback with Josephs, Huffmans, Carltons, Thompsons, us and My--really her first outing. We, and she, thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. However, on Monday I learned that Shirley, Duree and Cori were all VIOLENTLY sick with throwups and Hoppy was in the hospital. Who knows what that was--all are better and Hoppy is home. (They finally agreed with OUR diagnosis that his blood pressure meds wrong since he's lost a fair amount of weight recently.)

Tomorrow Paige and I are shopping for a family with 9 kids in the home (and 2 out!) from a local elementary school, then I have my tennis buddies Christmas lunch. Somehow I've got to prepare something for that. Speaking of preparing food, all the meringue things sound really good, C. Has that truly been the case? The coffee cakes took 6 hours--my feet and back were killing me. But ALMOST the last one needing to be delivered went out tonight. (And I really wrap them loverly if I do say so myself.) I've also made one batch of cracker candy, one new mix with all sorts of stuff coated in white chocolate, and one batch of caramel corn. Gracious, why do we cram a year's worth of baking into 3 weeks??!?

That's the newsy stuff and I'm not feeling alert enough or particularly inspired enough at this time to share deeper, spiritual/philosophical thoughts--tho' I love those and THOROUGHLY enjoyed all the posts along those lines. Hang in with me long enought and I'm sure I'll share something deep somewhere along the way!

Love and good night to all,
Laurie

Praying for you Sandy!

Need I say more?

I don't think she would mind...

I don't think she would mind so I am going to go ahead and post this so that you can be praying. Sandy is having some bleeding so please pray for the safety of the baby. She will have a ultrasound tomorrow. More to come when there is more to know.

Stop pressuring me!!!!!

Well I have done zero holiday baking!!!! Maybe you guys will end up inspiring me but right now more than anything I am feeling inspired to go over to Mom's in the night and steal some of her cooking to give away. I did just remember that I should probably get a little gift for Brennan's preschool teachers. Maybe Brennan and I can make something together for them. Well off to magically dig my house out (still recovering from being out of town and then having a busy weekend.)

Holiday Baking

Well, I am so proud to say I did a little baking last night and plan to work on the Christmas pies on Wed. Last night I made a sinful (but not too difficult) flourless chocolate cake from a new recipe. I get to try it tomorrow at a clinic party. I will let you know how it turns out, but I have high hopes! This year I am going back to Mom's chocolate chip pies instead of the chocolate chess pies we have been doing.

Save Some for Me!!

Boy, I sure hope someone saves some of these treats for our arrival! I've finished my "baking"...layered peppermint bark (with white and dark chocolate) and candy cane cookies. Unfortunately, our "give goodies to" list grows every year, so I hardly have any leftovers for our family to munch. Oh, well.
Reading, but not much to post these days. See you guys soon!
Becky

Well, typical, isn't it. I spend the whole day on meringue creations, and you crave coffee cake and jelly cookies. I just can't hit it right, can I. Laurie is, of course, the queen of the jelly cookies. If you are unable to make yourself some because of your delicate condition, I'm sure Auntie Laurie will make you a whole batch and ship it down. She loves sharing her special goodies so much!!!

There was a recipe in the paper for lemon meringues. You make little bite sized meringues that are hollowed out. Then you put a dollop of lemon curd and top it with a bit of whipped cream. There was another recipe adding semi sweet choc chips and crushed pecans to the meringue. That sounded good so I made that also. The whipped cream on the lemon meringue reminded me of the ritz cracker pie (also called mock apple I think). I made up a recipe of that and did it into cookie form. I'm now ready to provide desserts for whatever cause may come up.

Wendy, Becky was telling me something about Aunt Katharine having had a stroke. Do you have any details or updates?

Love to one and all. C

Just to clarify.......

Okay, (Re: getting in trouble for reading w/o posting) Mom (and everyone else!), until recently I didn't know that people were regularly reading without contributing. There's no way to tell if anyone else has logged on to read (at least, not that I know of), so the only guide I had to go by was whether or not they were posting. I was NOT feeling discouraged because people were reading without posting, I was discouraged because I wrongly assumed that people weren't even bothering to read in the first place. Does that make sense? Basically, what I'm trying to say is that it helps to now know that even when I may feel practically alone on the page, the reality is that I've got silent partners all over the place! (But, obviously, it's even better when they also add their voices to the mix!) So, LET IT BE OFFICIALLY KNOWN THAT MY THANKS GO OUT TO ANY AND EVERYONE WHO STOPS BY THIS BLOG PAGE TO READ. :)Furthermore, I NEITHER DEMAND, NOR EXPECT, MORE THAN THAT FROM ANYONE, & I PROMISE NEVER TO HOLD IT AGAINST YOU IF YOU MAKE TIME TO READ BUT CANNOT MAKE TIME TO POST!!!!! Good grief, no wonder people thought I was asking for too much! I have no idea why it never occurred to me that the vast majority of you are, in fact, reading without posting!!! (I was totally shocked when Lisa first mentioned that doing so has been a regular practice of hers.) I guess that having started the blog I sort of feel a duty to respond frequently. But if I wasn't the one who started this baby up, I don't think I'd be posting half as much, either----even though I'd definitely be reading all the time!!! SOOO, I promise not to send out anymore notes asking people why they're rejecting the blog page as long as y'all promise to let me know if you're finding it too difficult to regularly drop by and read it (posting only when inspired)!! And with that, hopefully we can put this little issue to bed, now!! Can I hear an Amen?! Good, then let's move on!!!



MOM---Thanks for bringing up the coffee cakes before they're actually available to me. (Toooorrrrtuuuurrrre!!) Interestingly enough, the caramel popcorn has already been on my cravings radar for days, now! In fact, I made Danny wait in the car while I ran into WalMart after our Stone Mt outing the other night (Will refused to come inside)-----I couldn't survive another night without making the caramel corn. (I'm particularly interested in trying a soft caramel corn recipe!) I actually had several items on the list (but it had to remain within a budget of $20), including a HUGE jar of pickles, ingredients for making peppermint fudge, and garage sale stickers (also pregnancy inspired)!! Anyway, I made it through the check-out line with a total of $19.86, and was so proud of that fact that I failed to notice that I'd forgotten the stupid popcorn!!! We then sat on 78 (highway) for FORTY FIVE minutes before finally reaching our exit (two down)! So poor, poor Sandy had to go to bed without her caramel popcorn. Just like she's gonna do tonight.

Gee......I wonder who's going to be making the jelly thumbprint cookies for me? I might get desperate enough to do it myself, actually (there are a few hours every night that I have just the right combination of energy and inspiration to follow through on small tasks). I made homemade playdough for Will the other night when I couldn't find any of his store bought stuff. Somehow the thought of searching on my hands and knees for another minute (and without any guarantee of success) brought tears, but the idea of standing at the stove to create a whole new batch brought a smile! :) It was quite easy, and turned out really nicely. The only problem is that now each time I pass the bowl of it a salty aroma beckons to me. (Noooo......don't do it, Sandy!) I haven't taken a bite yet, but I won't put it past myself either! (Flour, salt, water, cream of tartar............I mean, how bad can it be?!) It just now occurred to me that a recipe for homemade soft pretzels might satisfy that same craving in a much more pleasant way!! I'll have to poke around for one. (Anyone know how to make that good old salt rising dough? Mmmmm......) S

Hi all

It's late. I'm tired...but I don't want my middle child to think all I do is just read and never respond to the blogs. I want it officially posted that we wish Wendy a Happy Birthday today, and tomorrow we do the same to Adam.

George's time in rehab is officially up tomorrow, but he's extending for another 6 days- and paying a co pay - under his insurance. He's still having problems with oxygen levels, and his b.p. started dropping when he exercised (because of his coreg med. which they're temporarily taking him off of). Hopefully he'll be more able to take care of himself when he does leave.

Laurie and Thad, how'd the coffee cake production turn out? I bought my ingredients today. I also saw a recipe in the newspaper that calls for putting a lemon curd on a meringue like a little pie. I may try that one out. I will do the candied popcorn too.

Sweet dreams to all. C

Christgiving

Oh... I mean Thanksmas. :-) Is Brennan asleep under there? And, I actually thought that first picture was Will when I first logged on and glanced at the top of the post.

Thanksmas

So I just got back from dropping 6 of the 7 nieces and nephews on Adam's side back home. It was a long but fun enough night. I decided to take a few to talk about Thanksmas. Michelle (Adam's sister) and I went up to Michigan to surprise Adam's mom. Michelle brought her youngest Micah, 3, and I brought my boys. She was totally surprised so that was great. She has been struggling this holiday season because she just lost her mom this past summer. We wanted to go cheer her up so we had our first annual Thanksmas. For the slower folks that is a Thanksgiving/Christmas celebration combined. I made a ham and we all pitched in for the sides. We flew Adam (another surprise) in Saturday and had a good time. Me being the person that I am, have decided to push this rather noncommunticating family into the world of communtication. So I forced (and I do mean force) (it helps if they are scared of you) everyone to go around the table and share one christmas memory, one thing they are thankful for, and one goal they have for this next year. I know that this might not seem like a big deal to the O'Call family but trust me it was. When Adam and I first married it was culture shock for me to be a part of a family that has boundaries! So that was a good time, and then we gave Therese a video we made where everyone said something sweet to her (mine was the best). I even coarsed everyone into a game of charades. It was actually fun and was a bonding experience that bridged the gap between the generations with some older grandchildren playing as well. I think that I heard Therese say that this was a Bruso Family first. Michelle told me that this was the most positive experience she has had with her family in a long time so that is good. It was a really special time for me to as I am feeling more and more a part of their family and really loving them all. Brennan loved the snow (around 6-7inches) and Isaac hated it. I had a great time getting out there and just being a kid with Brennan and Micah and being a part of a experience that they haven't really been able to have before. Brennan wanted to be burried in it maybe I will attach a picture. We didn't get to do the snowman thing though, the snow wasn't wet enough to make one. Maybe next year. For the first time ever coming back from Michigan I was truly sad to go. Usually I am ready to jump back into home life after a few days up there. So all in all even though I am still trying to recover from not having a weekend (usually my organizing, grocery shopping, planning time), it was an awesome trip! So tired I am seeing crosseyed now spending the evening with 7 kids can take it out of you.

To better understanding

Sandy-

I much better understand your frustrations and thank you for surviving the migraine enough to explain. I think I see the bigger problem, I see the blog as a way to disseminate information and if I have no interesting information, I am unlikely to write. Especially since writing for me is not much of an outlet. I also see the blog as an experiment in a new way to spread information to the family that did not seem to be embraced by all. For you, the blog is a creative outlet for expression of feelings and ideas, a way to connect. (you say it much better than I but I am in the business of boiling things down to brief squares of data).

Please know that I do continue to read, and I have a new found appreciation for chickens and playing horsey while vomiting. I will try to at least post a brief response now and then. I did think of our family this week. I receive a brief daily devotional (or 2 actually) and the quote was as follows:

"Let us pray in thanksgiving for the women who have brought their faith into our lives.

"Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord." -- Luke 1:45, New King James Version"

I remembered all the faith that the women in this family have shared over the years and said a quick prayer of thanksgiving.

Becky-

So glad our schedules will overlap and we look forward to the 26th.

You are right that the good oncologists do become quite attached to the patients and their families despite the emotional cost. I think I am always in a bit of a funk when one of them is nearing their time to return to God. It is amazing the privilege I have of seeing God through this experience.

Welcome Lisa MAC NABB McGregor! :-)

Good to hear from you! Sounds like you are being well-entertained these days. I'm looking forward to seeing you guys after Christmas. We are getting together on the 26th, right? I'm glad we are in Atlanta at the same time this year.

As for your really sick patients...that's the part of your job that I just don't know that I could handle. That must be REALLY tough. I don't envy you. But, I know you are able to minister God's love to them, which is so important. I guess when you invest in them emotionally/ spiritually, you will be grieved. But, you wouldn't be a good doctor if you didn't! Hang in there.

I'm Sorry! And Perhaps I Should Explain (To: Lisa!!)!

~ ~ ~ BECKY---I think you were actually only left off of two minor ones recently (I forwarded them).
~ ~ ~ EMILY---I almost mentioned that the Modlins had an excuse, but I guess figured that went without saying since I sent out the little "thinking of you" a few entries before! I mean, I'm pregnant and impatient, but I don't think I've reached monster status! It also occurred to me that some of her sisters may have ventured to NC for the funeral but, again, I didn't bother to write it----mostly because I didn't actually expect anyone but Becky to read that entry, and I knew she'd take my venting with a grain of salt. (Mmmmm........salt..............pickles and----oops, sorry about that!) By the way, I also knew that your absence was about locale, not personal preference.
~ ~ ~ LISA (and others)---When you say you felt "fussed at", do you mean by my emails, or by everyone's actual blog posts??? Because if you meant the blogs, I'm surprised by that (and concerned, if it's true). I scanned over the last week or so and didn't really see anything negative. But if I missed them, I do want to apologize. I also went back and deleted my last night's "vent blog", because I really hate to have put such a negative taste in people's mouths!!! I honestly didn't expect an audience----and I knew that the one person I was technically writing to would likely recognize that my MAIN concern isn't whether or not other people are posting as much as me, even though it looks like that's my issue. See, Becky and I have both mentioned (mostly during the blog's first trial run) that we feel incredibly silly posting when no one else is. We want to write something, but don't want to look stupid when someone does come onto the page and just sees our names over and over and over and over. It looks kind of narcissistic, doesn't it? At the same time, this is kind of my only chance to be "around" adults (unlike many of you who often wish you could just escape them, I know), and I literally crave that feeling like a drug! So what I'm trying to say is that part of the reason I nag people to blog is because it will: A.) Give me new, adult, subjects to think about, and B:) Give me an opportunity to post something without looking like I WANT to monopolize the page!!!!!
~ ~ ~ Now, as far as the negative tone of my emails, I can't argue with you. But I CAN say I wasn't actually comfortable with the tone, even when I sent them. The problem is that I clearly don't know how to encourage blog participation without also becoming bossy, cynical, and nagging. The key to this problem actually lies in the foundation of the blog page itself. I guess its time for me to share all the fun background info with everyone, so maybe you'll finally see where all this craziness in me is coming from! So, here's the back-story:
~ ~ ~ Many moons ago, Wendy and I had been talking (via email) about the flaws in the current email-chain system, when she mentioned that a family blog might be the perfect solution. But who would make that happen??? My initial reaction was to sigh and say, "Yeah, exactly. Who's gonna do it?" (Because I had actually given up hope on being able to take on, and complete, tasks like that.) **PAUSE: In writing that previous statement, I was operating under the assumption that everyone knows everything about my life and health status these days, thanks to Mom. But that may not be true. So, in case you didn't know, I'll go ahead and take a moment right now to sort of catch you up:
~ ~ ~ Over the past two years I have become increasingly consumed by two sides of a very sharp "health sword"---chronic, severe, migraines and severe narcolepsy. The narcolepsy's effects are pretty obvious. The migraines are almost more insidious, as the ocular type (my most common one) attacks my two deepest loves in life----reading and writing. The narcolepsy alone would not likely prevent me from working on some sort of meaningful written work, so my life would still have a sense of purpose and meaning if only plagued by it. Unfortunately, the ocular migraines are such that sometimes I go months without even being able to do a brief Bible study, let alone work on writings of my own! (I do have audio tape studies, etc, but to tell you the truth all I want to do when I'm inspired by them is write about the inspiration! Not having that option can make the overall experience extremely unpleasant.) I have literally had to let go of every life goal, every personal dream......sometimes it even feels like I've had to let go of me. I watch the world spin on, through half closed eyes, and try not to think of everything I would be doing to help----to matter----if I could only function. (And that was with medication. Now that I'm pregnant, I don't even have the meds----so I'd do anything to feel that good again!)
~ ~ ~ Okay, so I just re-read the above paragraph, and I have to say that it makes me extremely uncomfortable to have been so open. It sounds like I'm just whining, and I really want to erase it. But doing so means that you won't know the whole story, and will be left to assume that my negative emails are just evidence of a negative nature. I really, really don't want that! So, moving on.......
~ ~ ~ Back to the blog's creation: Wendy and I discussed the desire for someone to create a home page, and for some reason I made the decision that I would be the one. I figured that if I couldn't follow through, I simply wouldn't tell anyone that I'd even tried! And luckily, it was much easier than I expected (at least the initial part). I don't even think I was on the computer long enough for a migraine that first night! The mere fact that I finished something I had set out to do was MONUMENTAL for me! I was too ashamed to tell anyone about it, but that was the first accomplishment I had experienced in well over a year. So, as you can imagine, there was a lot of emotional baggage tied to this site from day one!! Having successfully created the page, I was literally desperate to see others enjoy, and benefit from, the blog page. It was like a tiny, coveted, taste of the "helping others" that I emotionally and spiritually long to do with my life, but just can't. Tweaking and fine-tuning the page did end up costing me many expensive migraine pills, so to speak, but in the end I was amazed to discover a color scheme that GREATLY reduced the incidence of ocular migraines! Suddenly the blog page's success took on a whole new level of importance for me----I could read what others wrote without paying for it that night!!! So, as you can tell, the payoff for all of my work was huge. Especially at first, when it seemed like Christmas as one by one new names joined on!! Shortly thereafter, however, I was sidelined with a three-day migraine. And when I finally returned, I discovered that the blog was a ghost town. The town never did revive, and I gave up on it. I know it sounds incredibly juvenile, but I actually felt rejected when the majority of the email chain didn't put much effort into trying the blog during that first go round. (Don't worry, Lisa, you were among the blessed few who DID!!!) Because I had so much riding on the existence, and success, of this family home page, I took its failure pretty hard. But I couldn't explain that to anyone without also describing some of the more humiliating aspects of my personal world. So I just let it go completely. Only the desperation of pregnancy (i.e. no medication) led me to pick up the torch and try again----I needed to connect with people who don't live within the confines of this blasted house!!!
~ ~ ~ Okay, this is really frustrating but I have to stop because of a sudden migraine, and the accompanying need to hang my head over a toilet bowl! (Unfortunately this page, where we write on, isn't nearly as eye-friendly as the blog itself, although still better than my email site.) I obviously haven't finished, but I'll try to do so in a follow-up post. I fully intended to end this post with a response to YOUR post, Lisa, rather than have it be 100% about me. I guess could just save this as a draft and complete it later, but right now something tells me it would be better to post it in this incomplete state than to post nothing at all. So, to be continued.............................Sandy

Why I don't Blog

Hello to all. I suppose since my maiden name is MacNabb, I can put up a post. I actually do read this blog on a semi-regular basis. Unfortunately, I often feel fussed at for not responding and so I continue not to post (rather contrary of me, I know, and not very supportive). My days are rather hectic and not filled with much to share. I am struggling with a long-standing patient that is not doing well and a new patient who probably has a dismal prognosis. I think I am falling apart now that I have turned 40. My back went out, my car's transmission is "shot" and I chipped a crown yesterday.

I just reread the above, quite depressing and negative. I actually try very hard to be positive. Let me start again. Although things break, I am fortunate that they are fixable. My back is remarkably better and I am up to 1.6 miles a day walking in the morning. I acheived a 15 minute mile pace this morning. I have enjoyed a time of reflection and prayer each morning instead of listening to my iPOD. My car's transmission is fixed and I have it back in working order. The dentist will look at my tooth on Monday and right now it is not bothering me at all. Henriette is hanging in there and dad seems to be improving. James played beautifully last night in his piano recital and his school Christmas program this morning was quite entertaining. I look forward to Kathryn's gymnastics program tonight and her school winter celebration (the difference in a Catholic school and a Montessori school!) on Monday. We look forward to a wonderful time with both of our families over Christmas.

I feel much better to end with an optimistic tone. Sorry there are no amusing stories, I just don't have the mental energy to compose my thoughts in a more eloquent manner. I do think of you all often and pray that everyone is well despite their challenges in life.

Oops! Late for a meeting. Love to all.

Don't know what to call this

Don't you hate having to title every post? Sometimes you don't really know what you are going to say until you start typing. Anyway, regardless of who else is or isn't reading and/or posting, Sandy, I've at least had fun keeping up with you! :-)

By the way, this current string of emails...I haven't gotten ONE of them! Would you mind sending me one of the recent strands, so that I can scroll down it and follow the current conversations? Now I'M out of it. Maybe my email hasn't been letting them through...or maybe my name is left off. Either way, I do prefer the blog myself. But, I guess we all have our preferences.

Signing off for now-
Becky

The Thing is

So as much as we want this to be a place that people check out every few days, you have to take into account the o'call way. The email chains happen every few months and then you get a ton for about 4 days and then you wait again. That is unless something bigger happens. So history tells us that this would most likely be the case with a blog too. Also, people check their email everyday but are not in the habit to check the blog to see if someone has or has not written an entry. It is a change of habit and these things take a while. I do think that if people were emailed everytime there was a new entry they would probably check it. Also this past week I was in Michigan and not able write anything and the whole Modlin clan is in the throws of a funeral. So that is my excuse for them. If we make it real easy for people and every now and then send out an email with the blog site on it telling people to check out the new entries then they will hop on. We just have to make it super easy for people. So I have reached my cap for allowed writing time. Isaac is climbing all over me in protest now. I will try to do an entry about my Michigan Thanksmas celebration some time soon.

The Man Cold...a Raging Epidemic

My pastor showed us this last night at a party, and I thought it was pretty funny. Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz6DktXFvg4

If You're Like Me.....

To those of you who hadn't heard, either---- guess I'm essentially talking to Becky and Wendy these days :)---I just wanted to make a brief note about the passing of Gene's father. I found out through an email from Mom, saying: "Saturday night Gene's dad was taken off the ventilator. Pneumonia was rampant, and it was resistant to antibiotic. Last night he went to be with the Lord. The funeral will be Wednesday afternoon at 2 pm." Such a season of loss! I suppose, though, if I had to go it might be nice to make it through those gates just as the Christmas celebration is really kicking off! Our loved ones are probably all feeling sorry for us because we're still stuck down here listening to "I Wanna Hippopatamus" and "Santa Baby", while they have front row seats to a 24/7 concert performance by the band that invented music!!!! MODLIN FAMILY, OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO WITH YOU!

Just thinking...

Sandy, I hope this day has brought peace through your beautiful reflections. I too go inward, reflect, breathe out, and connect. Your writing does that. Perhaps a creative action would be another step...I was thinking of some marker like an ornament that you make for your Christmas tree each Dec. 6. The kids (present and future) could celebrate Hannah with this activity and see it on the tree each year.....Just a thought.

Becky, enjoyed your comments and blog!

Love, Wendy

Finally updated my blog

I'm too lazy right now to post pics to this blog, since I've just finally updated my own blog. Maybe I'll post a few later, but if anyone wants to keep track of our doings, you can also visit our family blog at http://www.inreyreform.blogspot.com/.

Does anyone else have a personal blog or website that we need to know about?


Becky

To Hannah

Hannah, I woke up this morning thinking about you. I wish I could hear even just a note of the marvalous Christmas anthems that are touching your ears right now. God bless you little one. We miss you!

Aunt Becky

In Loving Memory of a FAR GREATER Treasure

~ ~ Six years ago tomorrow (Dec 6th), in the wee hours of the morning, I held a very hungry Hannah to my breast for the last time. I haven't "publicly" remembered her in this way since that first anniversary. But I found myself staring into the calendar repeatedly today, and realized that my heart wanted to speak up, again.

~ ~ With the recent, shocking, loss of a CHERISHED "second Dad", followed quickly by the shocking loss of a cherished first chicken----not to mention the vast quantities of hormones currently coursing through my system, or the impending life change they represent----I suppose it's only natural that I'd be a bit nostalgic this season.
~ ~ Historically, the anniversary of the day I lost Hannah has never been as emotional for me as the anniversary of her birth. I guess that's because in her death, there was nothing but loss, pain, and darkness. From then on, when her name came to mind it was always followed by a huge period. The story of her life is over, nothing waits on the other side of that punctuation mark. Nothing. And on one level or another, I've had to face that "nothing" every day, since. But her birthday was another matter entirely. On that day, each time I whispered her name it was like the beginning of a story, full of "what ifs" and "I can't wait to find outs". It was about limitless possibilities, LONG futures, and generations of stories to follow. It was everything. And emotions, experiences, that powerful (and transforming) have a way of permanently imprinting themselves on a place, a date. You can't enter into the memory of a child's birth without confronting all that happiness again. All of that joy, that certainty of a future together, that boundless optimism, remains unchanged by the harsh reality that followed. On Hannah's birthday, my mind can't help but look at her the way I did six years ago---as a mother filled with hope for all the things my daughter will one day see and do. It's actually the only day of the year that I've ever been able to mentally escape the reality of losing her. But that escape lasts moments, at best, and the return trip is a devastating one.

~ ~ I don't know if any of my thoughts, here, are translating very well onto paper. I guess a much more simplified explanation would be this: October 17th is about Hannah being right here in my arms, alive and well. But December 6th is about her being in the arms of the Father----never again within my reach. I may weep for December, but I long for October. And therein lies the difference.

~ ~ I'm not even sure why I feel the need to write all of this tonight. I mean, it isn't exactly a proper "memorial" to her, is it?! I should have been taking the time to write about all of the things I loved about her, and the little things that I'll miss the most. (You know, like I did with Miss Scarlett!) But with Hannah, there were only seven short weeks to draw from. And the truth is, what I loved about her was........everything. She was an infant, after all! When our children are still so young, we mothers simply love every inch of them, every breath they take, don't we? We're so immersed in that new love that it's almost impossible to separate one aspect from the rest and say, "That's what I really love about her....." And when the child is just a few weeks old, our affection isn't about their individuality, yet----not their personalities, their quirks........It's about their existence, their presence, their very lives. So what do I miss most about Hannah Carolyn Perry? I miss that she was HERE. I miss watching her, hearing her, smelling her and touching her. That's all. For the most part, everything else that Hannah was, and is, is now defined by the process of losing her. What she meant to me, means to me, is completely intertwined with the fact that I am ever-changing because she once lived, and because she lives no more.

~ ~ Our children teach us so much about ourselves, don't they? They show us the good we have inside---good we never saw before. (And then, of course, they show us the ugliness that we swore we never would see......) Will has done that for me. But Hannah.......my sweet baby Hannah........she did something entirely different. She didn't reveal me, she changed me. If not for her, I would not be the person I am today. Her life has not impacted mine-----it has permanently ALTERED it! And, in fact, those alterations continue to this day. I only hope that when we meet again, she'll be pleased with the final results of her influence.

~ ~ Well, it's extremely late now (I've been working on this entry for a while, with many "Will breaks" along the way!). And although Will, himself, clearly intends to stay going strong well into the wee hours of the night, I'm going to retreat to my own bed in the mean time! Love you all--S

WENDY---(continuing the spiritual dialogue....)
I spend so much energy crying out to Him, struggling to "get to Him", and searching the distance for Him, when all the while He's standing a mere inches from my blinded eyes! All I have to do is sit down and start talking to Him to receive His healing presence, but I always start by attempting to clear imaginary hurtles instead! Why do we forever expect His home to be a mountaintop? Does it all go back to the negative way we view our own selves? Maybe I can't "let" Him be so easily approachable and readily available because I'm too caught up in believing that my shortcomings and failures will deny me the opportunity to share in communion with (and true service to) Him! Unwilling to forgive and forget my own sins or limitations, I keep my head hung low and my eyes shut tight with shame. Is it any wonder that I have no concept of the fact that the Savior is literally standing right before me, on firm and level ground, eager to FREELY and INSTANTLY administer the very healing that I'm so busy attempting to earn from Him?! Christ literally gave His life for the chance to offer us the gift of healing and forgiveness, and yet somehow I have more difficulty in receiving (believing, and living out) His forgiveness than He has in granting it!
I want to THANK YOU, Wendy, for inspiring continued meditation on these subjects. I haven't been doing that for myself in much too long, and sitting here tonight I again feel how much my spirit aches for it! Because I rarely leave the house these days, and haven't made it to church in what feels like a lifetime, it's such a huge blessing to be able to get those spiritual juices flowing again (right here at this little computer desk)!!! Thanks again, and please keep it up!!! (Especially here on the blog, where its safe for me to spend as long as I'd like to reading and writing with very little threat of migraine attack!!!) S

Sandy, your insight is inspiring. I thought I'd key off today's reading for an additional thought.

The reading is from Luke 6:17-23
At that time, Jesus stood on a level place, with a great crowd of his disciples and a great multitude of people from all Judea and Jerusalem and the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon, who came to hear him and to be healed of their diseases; and those who were troubled with unclean spirits were cured. And all the crowd sought to touch him, for power came forth from him and healed them all. And he lifted up his eyes on His disciples, and said: "Blessed are you poor, for yours is the Kingdom of God. Blessed are you that hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you that weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven."

Isn't it interesting that at the time when we need Him most, Jesus stands "on a level place"? When we actually come to hear Him, and to be healed, there He is, "standing on a level place"---not balancing precariously, as our emotions are; not surrounded by brambles, as our prickly situations make us feel; not hidden from sight and difficult to find, as our fear and emotional isolation tempt us to think; not at the top of a mountain, unattainable except for extraordinary exertion. No, He is standing in a broad and open plain, on ground that is secure under our feet. His power comes forth from Him, and we are healed. We come with our insufficiency and need, and we are blessed. We come in our poverty, and our reward is great in heaven. All that is needed is that we come, with a heart that is eager to touch Him, and the emptiness is filled with the fullness of God.

Furniture Delivery

I'm currently looking into shipping a bench-type coffee table that Jane ordered for me which will be in Atl. next week.....Is anyone heading this way with room in the back of a car for a longish table? Just thought I'd ask. -W

WOW...Lots of good reading!

So, my, alot has happend on the blog since my last visit! It was quite an event hearing all the "MacNabb" updates. Sandy, I didn't know so much about Miss Scarlet and, truthfully, am very sorry for your loss. There are a FEW of us pet-loving folks out here and their deaths are QUITE traumatic--even for less emotional, rationalists like myself! So, condolences from us Hickory-ites.

Emily, I laughed out loud during the vomit story--though of course losing your cookies is never truly funny. I could so picture the whole scene!

Granddad seemed a little better today, but the bigger question is how that plays into the bigger picture. They're reducing his vent dependence and oxygen which have both gone well, but the pneumonia still does not seem to be affected. Kidneys are working again, which is good.

Thad has once again handled this disappointment in stride and is helping me do the same. I now look EXPECTANTLY (vs. pessimistically!) to early Feb.

I'm quite tired after another busy day and Hillary and I head our EARLY for our Mars Hill appointment.

Night-night,
L

My dearest San San - and rest of the family - I too must confess to a certain affection for Miss Scarlett. No trip to the Perry house was complete without a visit to the backyard to turn over big rocks or slide aside big planters in search of juicy morsels for our friend. She really was a lot of fun, and she certainly made me rethink the treatment of her caged up cousins. Compared to the rats, gerbils, rabbits, ferrets, and whatever else I've left out, Scarlett was quite entertaining. It's true that she did not use good toileting manners during her brief indoors visits, but I blame that on the bad influence of those dogs. She was only behaving like she thought she was supposed to!

Danielle, I have one ball type toy, 2 books, and 1 pacifier from your previous visit. Remind me to get them back to you.

It's late, and I need to hit the bed. Night all. C

Thinking Of You

Laurie (and Co),
I just wanted to express my sympathy for the disappointments that (currently) refuse to leave your plate! (Hopefully you'll get this message, even though it's going to be placed on the blog rather than via email----my eyes simply couldn't take another session on that email page!) I wish I could give you some helpful advice in the "trying to choose to be upbeat" department. But I supposed that's not a skill many of us have mastered.
As is probably true for all of us, your situation is a familiar one to me. And tonight, it has me thinking..........................(*****WARNING: Sandy is about to wax theological on you, and she will likely be long-winded. Continue reading at your own risk!*****)......................................................
Like you, I fervently pray for God's control in ALL areas---because I truly do want Him to be the architect of my life. And in the prayerful days and hours prior to a big decision/outcome (like Thad's), I also find solace and security in the belief that He will honor my request (in His way). But if, and when, His way proves different from my own, I inevitably begin doubting that He's really watching out for me at all! I question my previous sense of solace and security, wondering if it wasn't just wishful thinking, completely overlooking the fact that my deepest solace had been in the knowledge of His presence and participation NO MATTER WHAT the end result may be!!! How short is my faith's attention span!!! This then begs the unanswerable question: "Did I actually lack faith in, and acceptance of, God's providence all along? Had I managed to pull the wool over my own eyes---temporarily numbing the pain of being powerless in that situation? Or is it just that disappointment renders me vulnerable to Satan's finely-tuned weapons of deceit and devastation?
Perhaps the real answer, here, is that I should be preparing my heart for disappointment in the same way I might prepare to embark on any other spiritual battle. I shouldn't approach the subject of disappointment with religious theories and logical mental processes----I should look at it through war-wizened eyes, prepared to deal first with the spiritual attack it will bring and second with my emotional and intellectual reactions! For example, in your case you might have said: "Tomorrow I find out if Thad will be among those called early. If he is not, Satan's likely first moves against me (and my family) will be_ _ _ _ _ _. But I AM NOT Satan's toy, and I won't allow myself to be toyed with! Therefore, MY spiritual action plan in the event of a disappointment is _ _ _ _ _ _." Imagine how different the whole experience would be if, following disappointing news, my thoughts were instantly focused on launching a spiritual OFFENSIVE! I could respond like a confident soldier, rather than a powerless victim! For example: The soldiers at Gettysburg, etc, were surely hoping and praying that each new order from above would take them away from that gruesome scene, rather than send them charging further into it. But when disappointed, they had no time to dwell on that fact. They were soldiers. Hearing the command to charge, they would have instinctively, immediately, picked up their rifles and marched. Acceptance. Obedience. Action. I hope that one day I'll have the courage to try this approach and see what happens......!
Okay, on that note I'll finally leave you! (Will has a hankering for a tickling session and has been just about as patient as he knows how to be!!!) Laurie and family, you're in my thoughts and prayers. (And thank you for getting me thinking again, by the way! It feels awful good to be conscious!) S

Look out, below!

BECKY---apparently posts are placed on the page according to the time we began writing them, not the time we actually clicked "publish". Because I just published mine and went to view the blog page, only to discover that mine was posted under yours! I guess the fact that Will distracted me 30 times gave you the opportunity to sneak in undetected! Anyway, I thought I'd point it out for future reference (always remember took scroll down and make sure someone hasn't secretly posted below you)!!!

Too true, Emily.

I've already talked to you twice today, so I don't really feel like I have much else to say. I'm glad you are getting over your stomach gunk, though.

Anastasia, what's preventing you from blogging on work time? Everyone else does. ;-) Congrats on your wedding coordinator kudos. That's awesome! Almost makes me want to get married all over again. (With the same guy, of course).

And, Danielle, are you out there? What I really want to see now is a few new Coen pics. And, so as not to be a hypocrite, I need to go update my own blog with pictures. I expect recent pics of everyone else, but I don't think I've updated mine in at least a couple of months! But, then again, my kids are older and don't change quite as much. So, I can get away with it.

Love to you all-
Becky

Relief!

Wow, I literally felt my eyes take a gigantic sigh of relief when I returned to this homepage! (See the old-school email I sent out to understand that statement!!)

I decided to add to this posts' appeal with pictures, just to illustrate the point I made in that email! These are a random selection from our last big Atlanta get together (it only allowed six). Aren't you impressed that I managed to repress the urge to only post pics of Will (and maybe Coen)?!! That last one of Gene and Danny was taken at night in the pitch black (no lights even on), believe it or not! I still can't get over how strong my flash is!

Anyway, I'm overdue for a nap but just wanted to give a (tiny) information update based on the appointment I had with my neurologist this A.M.. Although he can do nothing to help me now ("Sorry but, I think we unfortunately agree that Junior comes first these days!"), he did ease my mind a bit regarding how those few weeks of medication may have impacted the baby. According to him, all but maybe one of the medicines I was on are really just "potentially dangerous in theory". The lab rat tests are always done at ridiculously high dosages, so negative findings there have to be taken with a grain of salt. And as far as the evidence from human experience goes, there really just isn't any. At least none recorded in a controlled scientific study. So the real issue isn't that they've discovered evidence pointing toward the danger of these medications, it's that they have NOT found evidence pointing to their safety. In the absence of proof that something won't hurt a baby, and if the medication is one that can potentially cross into the placenta, the safest thing to do is consider it a threat. And because no one in their right mind would choose to make their child a guinea pig, many perfectly safe medicines will forever remain unavailable to pregnant women like me. Ironically, that one medication I was taking which is definitely considered potentially harmful was found to be so only after having initially been "proven" safe. The fact of the matter is, one never knows----so less is always best! At least I now feel like there's a higher chance of having NO medicine-related issues than I was thinking before! (Oh, he also said that most of my medications' potential threats involved miscarriage rather than birth defects. And because the baby weathered that exposure period, and I no longer have the meds in my system, that threat is happily a thing of the past!)

Okay, off to take my nap! SANDY

PS----Emily, I'm thinking maybe the reason we're the only ones blogging has more to do with our home-oriented lifestyle than anything else. But I agree that while I enjoy hearing from anyone, it's disappointing to ONLY hear from the people I already have on my cell phone's speed dial!!!!! (Not that I necessarily use that phone often enough!) Also, Dr. Seiden mentioned having just seen my sister, and I told him that you shared his little "easy sister" compliment with me. You should have seen how red his face got while he told me you weren't ever supposed to tell ME that!! It was pretty funny! I assured him that our relationship is such that jokes like that are always well received!!

Ironic

Do you guys find it ironic that the people that communicate the most on this are the MacNabb sisters. I will of course give a nod to Wendy for keeping up with us. It is just weird that the people that I am in communication with the most are the ones that are writing on this. I do want to give a shout out to Scarlet. Having had the privilege of meeting her I must say that I will never view chickens the same way. And though I do still hold a place in my heart for Scooby and Jazz she is definitely on up there in the best Perry pets. (Notice I gave no mention of the cats I offloaded on you?) She will be missed. Back to bed with the stomach gunk. I just hope to God I am back on my feet tomorrow seeing as how I am off to Michigan with the two boys and no Adam on Friday.

BECKY---I'm afraid alligators enjoy a good chicken every bit as much as foxes, so you may want to give the matter some serious thought before ditching the indoor cat for an outdoor chicken (otherwise I'd obviously say go for it!!)!
WENDY---someone once actually attempted to submit something of mine to Guideposts before (ironically, I'm pretty sure it was my words on Easter following Hannah's death). They received notice that Guideposts doesn't accept submissions!! They only reprint articles that have been published elsewhere, or something like that. The truth is, trying to become a freelance writer for any sort of magazine is like trying to qualify for a triathlon----a ton of work, and rarely any payoff in the end!!! But that doesn't change how sweet it was for you to say that!!!!!!! S

Scarlett Memorial

I think I'll ditch my cat and try a chicken instead! I'm sorry I never got a chance to meet Miss Scarlett. My kids would have had fun with her. Her untimely death reminds me a little of poor Fuzzbuster, but Miss Scarlett sounds like a much better pet. I hope Will remains blissfully unaware.

Becky
P.S. In lieu of gifts, the Perrys have suggested you send donations to Roy and Becky Eyre.

Just kidding guys, lighten up!! You can send Sandy and Danny eggs instead. One a day.

W to Sandy

Sandy, Please edit your wonderful memorial and send it to Guideposts...just needs to be shorter, but your warm and colorful descriptions are perfect (minus the "haul butt"-wink-wink).

IN LOVING MEMORY OF A TRUE TREASURE

Hard to believe we were two months shy of our one year anniversary with Miss Scarlett, the little red hen. But it's even harder to believe she's gone. I think Dan and I are taking her death harder than either one of us expected-----probably because it wasn't expected at all! At least, not in such a shocking way.

I guess I need to back track, here, rather than assume everyone has a clue what I'm talking about! First of all, for those of you who are so far out of the loop you didn't even know we HAD a chicken, I'll offer a little background:

Last February our neighbor, Joe, flagged us over to his yard. (He also has a lawn business, and is our age, so he and Danny are pretty good friends---and Will's especially fond of "Over-There-Joe"!!) At any rate, much to our surprise he had walked outside to find a chicken scratching around in his front yard that morning. She was incredibly friendly, and let him pick her up without protest. He quickly set her up in a section of his back yard which has been fenced off from his dogs, and fed her whatever he could find in the kitchen. No "lost" signs were posted, and as the days passed Joe and his wife became increasingly fond of the little fowl (even though she wasn't giving them any eggs). Unfortunately, he also owns three young pit bulls who were becoming ever more intent on getting at her. As it was no secret that I've ALWAYS said it would be fun to raise our own chicken (for the eggs), two weeks after her initial arrival the little red hen joined our clan, and was given the very fitting name of Scarlett.

Thanks to the internet, within 48 hours I was an expert on chicken care and feeding! I discovered that the lack of eggs (and poor body weight) were simply due to improper diet and housing over at Joe's. So I practiced my carpentry skills in building a new home, and set out to fill her belly with all the omega-rich meals she could dream of! Happily, Scarlett plumped right up and immediately began showing her appreciation for the daily "buffets" by leaving one delicious brown egg every single day!!!

Like I said, I always thought it would be fun to have a pet chicken for the eggs. It was my assumption that the term "pet" was really a misnomer when it came to these feathered creatures. Boy was I WRONG! Truth be told, if I were to weigh the pros and cons, Scarlett may just qualify as the best PET I've ever owned! Chickens (when not part of a large flock) actually become quite bonded to their families---both the two and four legged members! And Scarlett, in particular, was fearless when it came to our dogs, cats, and four year old! She tolerated Will coming up to feed her from his hands, following her around making all the crazy loud sounds he could think of, and even giving her back the occasional petting! She loved to sneak up to the dogs when they were snoozing, then scratch out a little "nest" in their bushy tails and take a nap as well! (That is, if she wasn't busy pecking all over them in the apparent search for bugs!) Our cats were the only ones who had to be careful around Scarlett (not the other way around). I guess because of their size, she seemed to consider them a "food threat", and let them know it in no uncertain terms! For instance, if I bent down to pet a cat and Scarlett was nearby, she became convinced that I was bending down to turn over a rock and offer the hidden bugs to them! She'd come charging over, chirping her little "I mean business" song, and chase the cats until they were a safe distance from the "prize". When she returned to me triumphantly, I didn't have the heart to leave her empty-beaked, so I then had to FIND a bug or two!

The list of reasons I'm going to miss that bird are endless. I'm truly finding it difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that I'll never again be woken up on warm mornings to the sound of a chicken outside my window, literally "singing" about all the delicious bugs she's finding! Or wiggling around and making her hilarious chirping sounds while scarfing down favorite meals or treats! Pet chickens want to be with their human flock as much as possible. This means that if you're outside, the chicken's going to be AT your side most of the time. When I sat down outside, she'd eventually nestle down for a nap at my feet, head tucked into her wing and making wonderfully contented "sighs". And whenever the opportunity arose, Scarlett also strolled on in to our house like she owned the place! (Two of the pictures above are perfect examples---one was when I walked into our bathroom only to discover a chicken standing on the bathtub! The other time I found her literally inside our open linen closet, sound asleep!) Scarlett, like all chickens, put herself to bed before dark, without exception. But if we went outside and turned on the lights in the warm months, she'd always come running out of her roost (on our porch) to make sure she wasn't missing anything edible! I'll never forget her groggy chattering as she investigated the situation, and decided whether or not it was worth staying out of bed!

When you picture the way most chickens spend their lives these days---in a 2'x2' wire box, with countless other chickens stacked above and below them---you don't expect the birds to have much in the way of personality OR mental capacity. I started out assuming that I'd be lucky if she learned to respond to the familiar sound of my voice, and that expecting her to learn to come to her name was ridiculous. Once again, I was wrong. She not only learned her name (and several nick-names), but she learned several phrases that were directly associated with extra-special food morsels! For instance, "Here you go, girl" meant "mealtime", and she KNEW it! (Nothing in the world could lighten my mood better than the sight of that fat little bird lifting up her wings and hauling butt across the yard every time she heard those words!) Other example phrases are: "Here's one", "Look, look, Scarlett", and "Right here"---all of which pertained to bugs, rather than prepared meals. We'd be out in the yard together and she'd scratch around several yards away while I peeked under heavy objects. When she heard one of those phrases announcing the discovery of a tasty morsel, she was on me like white on rice! Man, that girl was fast! If either a dog or a human started running within Scarlett's line of sight, she'd drop what she was doing and take off after them----not chasing, only hoping to beat them to the FOOD they were obviously running toward!! (Why else would anyone run, right?!) In the summer I'd actually dig up little sections of dirt and race her to see who could locate the worms first (I'd try to cover them with my hand before she could reach them with her beak). I MIGHT have beat her three times out of hundreds! Usually she was literally in the process of consuming the worms before my brain even had time to register seeing it!!!

Okay, I know I've rambled on about Scarlett forever, so I'll stop myself and get on with the sad part. This afternoon I discovered a gruesome scene in and around Scarlett's roost. Hope had been acting crazy last night, and I had finally decided that she was hearing some sort of critter under our porch. In retrospect, I wish I'd allowed her access under there to flush the "critter" out, because apparently it was lying in wait for a chicken dinner. Based upon the evidence at the crime scene, the most likely suspects would be a fox or a coyote. (You wouldn't believe how specific all of the little predators are as far as what they do or don't leave behind!) Based upon our location, I'm thinking a fox is the culprit. When I first discovered the mess, I was literally shaking. I've always been incredibly stoic at times like this (living on a favorite street for speeders has taught me to be able to suck it up and retrieve lost pets for proper burial). But this time I couldn't even look around for fear of seeing more than just feathers and blood---I literally thought I'd pass out. The good news, if that's possible, is that on cold winter nights chickens sleep DEEP (in contrast to her warm weather habits, these days she never so much as stirred when we'd come outside and turn on the lights, etc). Also, my CSI skills lead me to believe that the whole ordeal was over pretty quickly for her. Had it been a raccoon or opossum (or even a domestic dog), the suffering would have inevitably been much more drawn out. Eventually those facts will help my heart. But for now, I just hurt. Even Danny has been in a state of shock over the loss. In pet-losses past, he always made clumsy attempts to console me (while obviously not feeling all that sad, himself). But this time he's clearly feeling the loss on a very personal level, as evidenced by statements such as: "I'm just gonna miss Scarlett so much, Sandy! I mean, she was a member of our family!" Those of you who know how animal-friendly Danny generally ISN'T will appreciate what that says about the unique charm of our pet chicken! Will, for his part, remains blissfully unaware of the whole ordeal. (And I have no idea how it's going to play out with him in the future.)

Well, on that note I'm finally going to bed. (Will pulled a VERY late night on me tonight!) Until later, SANDY